Shocking news made its way around the country yesterday, as David Plouffe and Senator Harry Reid revealed that Donald Drumpf is the heaviest nominee for President since William Howard Taft! Taft, as we know, was known as our portliest President who once got stuck in a White House bathtub*. In light of this recent revelation, serious medical questions have been raised about this 70 year old butterball’s fitness for office:
As we all know, Mr. Drumpf and his team are VERY concerned about matters of Presidential health, regardless of who wins. Given the Drumpf campaign’s tendencies, I’m sure they’ll answer these questions swiftly and coherently.
*In Taft’s defense, he was also a scholar and future Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Somehow I doubt Drumpf’s parallels will extend that far.